Posted this on FB early this afternoon:
Getting gas quarantine style. Get your debit card out and have it at the ready. Put on the one glove you have in the car. Get a wipe ready for when you get back in the car. Touch the keypad with the gloved hand. Scan the key fob for your discount with the ungloved hand. Answer a lot of questions on the keypad with the gloved hand. Open the gas cap on the car and put the damned gas in the damned car with the damned gloved hand. Put the nozzle back and repeat process for closing gas cap. Tell the damned machine you don't need a frickin receipt with the frickin gloved hand.
Oh, you're not done yet.
Open the car door with either damned hand at this point. Sit. Drop the frickin key frickin fob in your lap. Take off the glove the way they taught you when you worked at the hospital 40 frickin years ago. Put it in the present trash bag. Get the preset wipe and first wipe hands. Wipe them a lot. Wipe the outside door handle. Wipe the inside door handle. Wipe the steering wheel. Wipe the key fob. Wipe the shifter knob. Wipe the damned dog while you're at it cause she's in the car watching you trying to figure out what else you need to wipe. Oh yeah, wipe the debit card.
Don't put the wipe in the trash till it's dry. Wipe anything that's not moving and some things that are.
What I'm saying is that there are a lot of steps to getting gas that didn't use to be there. A lot of fuckin steps. I hope I don't need gas again.
P.S. I wasn't even close to another person, but the ones I could see were also wearing gloves. Good going, gas needers.
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